


Softly and Sincerely

by IntrovertedHappiness



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Anxiety, Crushes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Injuries, Miscommunication, Secret Crush, Sparring, Training, i dont think it's that bad of an injury he'll recover fine, the others are there but not a big enough role to be tagged, this is basically barry being anxious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 04:15:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26346964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IntrovertedHappiness/pseuds/IntrovertedHappiness
Summary: Training doesn't exactly go as planned. Barry's a bit too messed up right now to care.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 23





	Softly and Sincerely

Barry was still just as nervous about training than ever. How much were they expecting from him? Practicing spells was easy enough as long as Barry didn’t get distracted, but performing spells in front of others? And with Lup? Gods, with Lup was a whole ‘nother level of anxiety. What if he hurt her on accident? What if she thought he wasn’t putting his all into it because she was a girl? What if she-

“Oh, I know that face,” Magnus said from next to him. Barry jumped. In front of them, Lucretia and Taako were double-teaming Lup in magic combat. They had landed the ship nearby a clearing and spent a good slot of time out there trying to improve their combat skills. The light had been collected earlier in the month, with Magnus being the only one injured. He sat out from sparring, sitting on a chair they dragged out here, his broken leg propped up on a tree stump.

“What?” Barry asked, tearing himself away from his thoughts.

“That’s your nervous face,” Magnus said. “What’cha thinkin’ about?”

“I- it’s nothing, Magnus,” Barry said. His eyes followed Lup as her magic broke through Lucretia’s shield and lashed towards her and Taako.

“Uh-huh,” Magnus said. “I believe that.”

“Shut up,” Barry said, covering a smile with the hand he had propped up near his face. “I just… Oof, it’s really nothing.”

Magnus didn’t say anything but when Barry turned to look at him, his grin was wider than the sky. Barry didn’t get a chance to tell him to stop it. Taako called a time out from the fight and the magic crackling through the air stopped at once. They all looked relatively uninjured- though Taako might be sporting a bruise on his leg later from a fall.

“Who’s next,” Lup crowed. Taako sat down heavily next to Barry, leaning back on his hands. Lucretia shook her head, smiling slightly, and took a place next to Magnus. Lup turned her gaze towards Barry himself, expectant. “You got it in ya, Bluejeans?”

“I- I mean-”

“Go for it, Barold,” Taako said, patting his back. “Lup’ll go easy on ya if you ask her.”

“No easy mode!” Lup said, cracking her knuckles. “I’ve got spell slots to _burn_ , babes, we’re in too deep for me to go easy!”

“Barry,” Magnus started chanting. “Barry! Barry!”

“Barry! Barry!” Taako joined in. Lucretia hid her face in her hands, giggling.

“The crowd has spoken, Barry!” Lup said. And fuck, Barry couldn’t say no when she looked that excited, could he?

There was a responding cheer from his crewmates as he got himself up and lumbered towards the starting position. He was on the very east side of the clearing, with Lup on the west. Lucretia gave him a thumbs up. Magnus was still clapping.

“Don’t kill him, Lup,” Taako said. Great, thanks Taako. That filled him with confidence.

“Not planning to,” Lup called back. Then, to Barry, she said, “you ready?”

Barry gathered himself, trying to ignore the nerves in his stomach. He recalled his non-lethal spells at the back of his mind. After a moment, Barry nodded and Magnus called out a countdown.

“Three,” and Barry was feeling kinda sweaty, kinda off, because it was harder to think when seeing Lup’s wicked grin across from him.

“Two,” and he could feel a small burst of magic coiling around his arms and hands, challenging into a shaky spell.

“One,” and Barry’s heart was beating way to fast because _fuck,_ was that the right spell? Did he do the right thing? What if he hurt her on accident? He couldn’t live with hurting Lup, he couldn’t do it-

“Go!” and Barry didn’t even really process it had been said. The spell he charged up was sizzling out, seeping back up his arms, retreating in hopes of not being used. Barry held his ground but that didn’t really do much to help when Lup hurled a fireball at him and he forgot to dodge out of the way.

  
  
  


_The pain was searing._

  
  
  


When Barry woke up in the medbay two hours later, his body felt kind of rough. Skin stuck together weirdly, his chest and arms were bandaged. It took him a moment to remember what had happened. And then the walls just sort of came crashing down around him.

Barry was, above all else, _tired_. Tired because his life had become this mission and he didn’t know if there was an end out there somewhere. Tired, because Lup was such a perfect person and she’d never want to be with someone like him. Tired, because there was always the looming threat of harm hanging over their heads.

Tired, because somewhere along the way he decided he’d rather die than throw spells at his crew. At Lup. Even in training, it couldn’t stand to see them in any sort of peril.

Tears were streaming down Barry’s face, sticky and gross. It hurt to move, to sit up, so he didn’t. He sat there, on his back, looking up at the blurry ceiling of the medbay, and crying. Like a _child_. Pathetic, and weak, and vulnerable, and-

“Barry?”

_Fuck_.

“Barry, holy shit.”

It was Lup, rushing in from the medbay entrance, hurriedly coming to his side. She looked panicked, distraught even. Her hand went to cradle his face and he winced and sobbed harder.

“Oh gods, Barry, I’m sorry, what can I do? Do you need Merle?”

“No,” Barry choked out, skin cracking as he turned his head towards her, pressing into her hand. “Please stay. Please, I- I can’t be alone, I can’t-”

“I’m here, Bar,” Lup said, voice sore and weak. Barry’s heart clenched inside his chest. Was he making her feel bad? “I’m here, I promise I won’t let you go.”

“It just _hurts_ ,” Barry said and cut off Lup’s attempt to apologize. “Not just the injuries, Lup, just- just _everything_. I don’t _get it_! Why do we have to do this? I don’t want to see y’all hurt, I can’t stand even just pretending. For- for _training_! That’s pathetic, right? I should be able to train but all I see is death and injuries and- and-”

“Barry,” Lup said firmly, cutting into his rambling. Barry choked back his words and bit his tongue. “Barry, your not pathetic for not wanting to train like that! That’s- I didn’t even think about that, Barry, I’m so sorry we tried to force you to do that.”

“It’s- uh, it’s fine-”

“It’s not though!” Lup said. “It’s not okay! We- _I_ \- made you do something you’re uncomfortable with and you got hurt because of it. I’m sorry. Sincerely.”

Barry couldn’t think of much to say to that. He exhaled against Lup’s palm, neck sore from leaning like this, eyes dripping.

“We’re a team,” Lup continued. “Team means- team means respect, right? It means taking care of each other. You’re not pathetic for not wanting to throw spells at us. I think it takes a lot more strength to be worried about people and admit it than it takes to fight.

You- Barry, you’re a lot more powerful than what you think. A lot more of an asset than you would ever know. I mean that from _all_ of us. I don’t think we would be this successful without you. We already know how badass you are when you have to fight, training aside. And when you’re not fighting, you’re studying, you’re helping, you’re- you’re bringing light to this ship. To _me_ , Barry.”

Lup paused and Barry heard her swallow dryly. He lifted his eyes to her, heart practically soaring, but didn’t get the chance to speak before Lup went on.

“You don’t know what you mean to me,” Lup whispered, gently running a hand through his hair. “I’m so sorry I got you hurt like this.”

Barry’s thoughts were racing. He caught Lup’s eyes. She looked down at him with the most genuine gaze he had ever seen. Her hand was still warm against his face. She leaned down and Barry just about stopped breathing as she pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“I’m here for you,” Lup said and Barry never doubted it in the first place. Her eyes were shining, her ears twitching in a way that Barry knew meant _worried_ , her fingers still carding through his hair.

“I could’ve stepped outta the way, though,” Barry said and Lup threw her head back in a sudden laugh.

Barry’s heart thumped in his chest.

Fuck.

He was in love.

**Author's Note:**

> Barry felt it first. During a particularly challenging year, Lup caught him crying, and she softly and sincerely consoled him. And just for a moment, the professional wall between them came down, and something shone through. -TAZ: Balance, ep 64
> 
> Hi! I hoped you enjoyed reading! Check out my tumblr [@barry-j-blupjeans](https://barry-j-blupjeans.tumblr.com/) !


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